By Debbie Elder

Anyone who has tried to feed a baby something they don’t want knows the truth behind these words - you can’t change anyone else’s behavior. So stop trying! Here is the answer to stopping all future power struggles between you and your child. This is important – read on!

Stop telling them what to do and start stating what YOU are going to do. Let me give you some examples.

Instead of “Please sit down. We are going to eat now.” Try, “I will serve dinner as soon as you are seated.”

Instead of “Clean your room so we can go shopping.” Try, “I’ll take you shopping as soon as your room is clean.”

Instead of “Don’t you dare shout at me! Try, “I listen to people who are not yelling at me.”

Instead of “You can’t play until you have finished your homework.” Try, “Feel free to play as soon as you have finished your homework.”

Instead of “Don’t be late coming home from school.” Try, “I’ll drive you to practice when you are on time.”

Instead of “I am sick and tired of picking up your dirty clothes.” Try, “I’ll wash the clothes that are put in the laundry room.”

Instead of “Get this room cleaned up right now and I mean it!” Try, “You are welcome to join us as soon as your room is clean.”

Instead of “Don’t talk to me in that tone of voice!” Try, “I’ll listen as soon as your voice is as calm as mine.”

Instead of “Do your chores on time or you will be grounded!” Try, “I’ll be happy to let you go with your friends as soon as your chores are finished.”

When you are clear on what you are doing you send a very clear message to your child. Using ‘I statements’ removes the defensive reaction you have probably experienced when you have insisted that your child obey your commands. By inverting the conversation you will elicit cooperation. Be patient as you start to use this new language, it takes some getting use to and it is probably not your ‘mother tongue’. The results you will experience will be amazing, just remember to hold up your end of the bargain – stick to your guns and follow through. Your child deserves it!

By Debbie Elder

A true desire to provide others with more than they asked for will bless you with incredible results. Conducting yourself in relationships and in business as a sincere person allows you to gain the respect and trust of others. Sincerity is the cornerstone of all successful people. Saying what you mean and meaning what you say will always serve you and your relationships well.

Sincerity is one of the most difficult things to prove to people, but you must be willing to do so. By ‘walking the talk’ and proceeding with integrity you will earn the trust of others. When you continually do as you say, others learn to rely on you. When they regularly choose to be with you whether that be in business or another relationship you can continue to serve.

Others are constantly watching and making opinions and judgments. You want to be sure that the opinions they hold of you match what you believe of yourself. To do this you need to be strategic. You need to decide what ‘look’ you want to take to the community and how best to implement. When you have mapped out the big decisions, the day to day decisions are very easy. Simply ask yourself, does this action get me the results I have decided are important to me, or not?

With a clear plan and distinct insight you can ensure your reputation meets with your approval. By acting with sincerity and integrity you will continue to present the face to the public that you intend. This process takes time and you will constantly need to continue with it as you step into new social circles and business ventures. But the pay off for this intentional behavior is priceless!

By Camille Rodriquez

The topic of accreditation is an issue many homeschoolers try to avoid, however, it is a fairly simple question. Whether accreditation affects your curricula and programs boils down to a few simple facts. After learning the facts you can make informed decisions about your homeschooling program and address this topic easily and effortlessly with those who ask.

Accreditation by an agency says you met their standard of academic rigor and have their endorsement. The purpose in having a standard is so colleges can look to a consistent set of endorsements to admit students. In essence, the purpose for seeking accreditation is to meet a standard that will ultimately be accepted by a college. There are other leveling endorsements, though, such as standardized tests – SAT and ACT – so accreditation is only one of those endorsements.

State issued accreditations are the only constantly accepted standard for accreditation by most colleges. However, those accreditations are set aside for public schools only. Homeschoolers can utilize many private school accreditation agencies that exist.

Using a private school program or a homeschool program whose has achieved an accredited status means the curricula program has met a standard as outlined by that particular agency. It is important to realize some colleges will accept particular endorsements and some will not. Accreditation therefore, does not guarantee acceptance by a college.

Some outside accreditation agencies are very rigorous. Some are not. Some agencies require affiliations with particular denominations or influencing groups, and some only require that you purchase a membership. Some accreditation agencies have regular reviews and assessments of their students, schools, standardized test scores, etc., and some only require an annual fee.

As a result of these widely varying standards, colleges do not see all accreditations as equal. If your long-term goals for a particular college are better served by being in an accredited program, then knowing which accredited programs are appropriate should be considered. If your long-term plans include preparing for standardized tests to be the independent source of learning validation, then accreditation becomes less of an issue.

Ultimately however, there will need to be some sort of outside verification of abilities, mastery, and cognitive development for each of your homeschooled students, so knowing the purposes and reasons for the varied types of standards will help you to determine your best homeschool options in advance.

By Debbie Elder

It is time to start to imagine. Today take a moment and develop a dream. From your imagination comes hope. With hope you can fill yourself with the faith that nothing is impossible. Napoleon Hill summed it up the best when he said “If you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it”. So, think big, dream bigger, start the process and watch the magic unfold. The universe is ripe for the picking and anything you want and desire is available to you now, you just need to go and get it!

From your hope and faith, decide on a definite goal. Write it down and commit it to memory. Focus your energy on this desire. Visualize the results. Use this objective to guide your decisions; it will help to keep you on track. Also, when you have one clear destination the path is easily seen and much easier to follow. There needs to be clarity of thought and a definite surrender to the mission.

Opportunity will be delivered to those with a clear purpose. When you are focused you can see things in a different light. Try this exercise, look around the room and find all the objects that are blue. Now close your eyes and picture all the objects in the room that are red. Huh! Red, no fair. So what happened, all the blue items became very bold and bright and vivid in your mind and all other objects faded into the background. When I asked you to recall the red items it was very difficult because they had become dull, small, and insignificant.

When you are focused on your goal you have heighten your awareness to people, places, and things that can point you in the direction of achieving that which you desire. By rewriting you goal each day and mediating on it you can dramatically increase the immediacy by which it will be delivered. Spend a few minutes each day visualizing what it will feel like when you have achieved that which you desire. The feeling and emotions are strong magnets to attract what you want.

By Camille Rodriquez

There are very few educational methods that allow for the degree of individualized attention to a student’s learning as homeschooling. There are an abundance of rewards that come from shaping and forming their children through homeschooling. However, it should never be entered into rashly. There are several things to have in your personal skill set to begin homeschooling. Six, in fact.

The first thing you need is identifiable core values. Create a personal vision statement for your homeschool. Identify the skills, traits, and knowledge base that are expected results for your children, and include the training needed along the way.

Commitment, is the next requirement. You need to make decisions and choices necessary to fully commit to your program. This may mean adjusting an income, reducing expenses, juggling careers, or other unique adaptations to fit your program. The adults of your family also need to be dedicated to the goals of your program.

After the first two steps, you will be ready to select your curricula. Spend time researching what is out there. Good curricula should meet your state requirements, teach how to learn, how to plan out work, and how to study and write. Be sure the curriculum you choose is one that promotes solid academic behaviors, not just assignments.

Consistency, your next need, is the biggest challenge. You need to stick to your values, carry out the work, strive for excellence, and do those things all over again. Homeschooling can allow for flexibility in your hours, your schedule, or your days of work, but, school must be done – consistently – for students to thrive and grow academically.

A counselor or coach will also be an invaluable tool. This could be a spouse, a mentor, or a paid homeschool coach that helps keep the focus on your values and goals. Your homeschool program will be far more effective when you know someone will be asking about your progress.

On-going conversation is the final need for effective homeschooling. You must be willing to engage in a continuing dialog with your spouse, children, and coach so that adjustments to your vision and goals can be made as necessary without hindering overall progress.

Consider the “C’s” – and take the time necessary to build this foundation into your homeschool program.

By Debbie Elder

Strong, solid family relationships don’t just happen; there are critical elements that must be there for them to develop. When a relationship is built on a firm foundation, it can withstand the hiccups of daily life and the unexpected moments of chaos. Mutual respect, time for fun, constant encouragement and communicated love are the four pillars of any strong relationship.

A lack of respect creates problems in any relationship. When dealing with children, adults need to remind themselves that respect is earned. To establish mutual respect, we must be willing to demonstrate respect for our children. A great way to start is to minimize your negative talk. Speak with your children when the atmosphere is friendly and upbeat.

Quality time is another key ingredient to building a healthy, happy relationship. The quality of time you spend with the members of your family is most important. One hour of quality time is much more valuable than five hours of conflict. Spend time daily with each member of your family doing something together that you both enjoy – invest in the relationship! I know you are busy, but your children won’t live with you forever! Savor the time you have with them NOW! In addition to individual time I strongly recommend that you schedule family fun each week, this should be a time to laugh, enjoy each other’s company and build memories that will comfort you for years to come.

Believe in your family members so they can believe in themselves. Your children will especially benefit from your frequent encouragement. A cooperative relationship depends on how children feel about themselves and how they feel about you. Point out what you like and appreciate about your children. Specifically describe what behaviors you want repeated, give them a recipe for success!

Clearly and regularly communicate to your family the love you have for them. This will increase your children’s sense of security and strengthen any marriage! Let your family feel and hear your love. Gentle pats on the back, hugs, kisses, etc. are extremely important gestures. Your attitude also expresses your love. When you demonstrate mutual respect and allow your children to develop responsibility and independence, it is the deepest expression of love.